IF YOU WANT TO GET STUFF DONE, STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF LIKE THAT!

​"Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love."  
​                       ~ Brene Brown

Have you ever listened to how you speak to yourself? The number of times you say should, must, need or have to in an hour, let alone a day?

We use these imperatives like little whips, to get us moving.   We think it helps us get stuff done, and, occasionally, it might.

But how does it leave you feeling?  Energized and inspired? 

Not so much.  

But read on....there's good news . . . .

The secret to getting stuff done is to change the way you talk to yourself.

I know.  Crazy that it could be that simple.  But, how we speak is how we think, and how we think is how we feel. 

The language we use to motivate ourselves matters.  For example, when we’re under the gun or dreading something, we’re far likelier to say have to, must and should, as in:

I have to finish this paper before I go on vacation.
I must bill 200 hours this month.
I should attend more networking events.
​

Have to feels heavy.  Like someone else is forcing us or running the show.   

With have to we’re less likely to think about why we want to get it done.  We just know we have to.
Now, replace have to with words that express desire or intention , e.g. want, will or am going to, as in: 

I want get this paper done before I go on vacation.
I am going to bill 200 hours this month.
I will attend more networking events.

Feels different, right?

Want to has a different kind of energy to it.  It's positive.  Want to sounds like we’re in control.  

And, fortunately, we are. 

But, there needs to be a payoff.

Changing the language you use to get yourself going is a start, but the chances of completing something sooner rather than later increase exponentially when you find a resonant reason for doing it.  

Ask yourself:  What's the benefit of completing X?  How will doing it make my life easier?  What will be better once it's done?

Once you've identified what motivates you, construct a sentence that includes the payoff, e.g.,"I want to _____________ so that I can _______."

Finding the payoff can be the difference between doing and dreading.  And the goal is, after all, to cross things off your To Do list ASAP so that you can get on with the things that light you up.     

It may sound simplistic but this approach saved me several years ago when I had a huge paper that had to get done. There was no actual deadline, which was problematic, and every day began with “I have to finish section x today” and ended with “I must get this part done tomorrow.”  

Sound familiar?

It wasn't until I realized that I was scheduled to be in Spain, visiting a friend, in just a few weeks that I was able to turn things around.  The last thing I wanted was to return from vacation to a paper that still needed to get done.

And there it was:  the payoff that would motivate me to complete the paper. 

The winning statement?  

“ I am going to get this *&%*&^! paper done if it’s the last thing I do, because I am not going to have this hanging over my head while I’m away!”

Worked like a charm. 

Two weeks later I crossed it off my To Do list and boarded a plane. 

Worry free.

​OVER TO YOU

What do you want to cross off  your To Do list?
What language empowers you?
​What's the payoff?

P.S. PASS IT ON

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